Numb
by TwilightKitsune1-REBORN
Summary: All Lupin did was watch and he broke. Lupin POV. R&R!


_**Summary: **_All Lupin did was watch and he broke. Lupin POV.

_**Disclaimer: **_I do not own any characters, ideas, or location's, found in the _**Harry Potter**_ universe, it is property of J., and found in movies produced by__Warner Bros. The storyline concept for this particular fanfiction was created in the recesses of the twisted mind of this writer.

_**Warnings: **_OOC-ness, AU (in a cannon sort of way), slight slash (yaoi), character death, and angst…

…_You have been warned…_

_**  
Numb…  
**__By: TwilightKitsune1  
rated: K_

All I could do was stare in shock, my body numb. It had happened so fast, the spell so fast, and I could only watch as my love slipped away. There was no goodbye, no fond farewells, no sweet words of comfort. All that there was was the emptiness, the sorrow, and the pain in my chest that told me he was gone. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes as I watched the black veil sway in the non existent wind. My lover was no longer there fighting in front of it alive and happy. No, he was not escaping its clutches, death had come for him and took him away to where I couldn't even hold his broken form in my hands. He was lost to me.

Memories poured into my mind, both good and bad. All the moments we shared and those that we weren't together as I cursed his name. Even those that we were reunited as only lovers could be. I knew there would be more memories to come though, those would be filled with the bitterness of loss, and covered with the unappealing taste of loneliness. My body moved on its own to Harry's side, my mind lost to memories, and I wrapped my arms around the crying boy. He was crying for the one person I couldn't cry for, not now, and trying so desperately to call him back to his side. I knew though, better then Harry did, that Sirius wasn't going to come back. I tried to explain that, to tell him that Sirius wasn't going to return from the veil, but he still struggled in my arms denying the fact. He still called and yelled his name, he still shed tears when he realized Sirius would have already run to his side should Harry have been yell this long and this hard. As I watched the realization dawn on Harry I felt a pang of guilt, another death for the lad, another family member died in front of him and what use was I? I was nothing but worthless for him and for my love.

I wanted to follow Sirius into the veil but I knew he would be angry with me if I did and left Harry alone, though I wasn't sure I would be able to face Harry after all this was done. "Harry," I heard my voice crack and I tried to strengthen it, now was not the time to weep. "He's gone Harry."

I heard Harry wail, his cries gut wrenching, but I had gone numb already. I could only hold him and stay silent, no longer trusting my voice to stay strong. After a time Harry was able to pull free of my grasp and for a brief instant part of me wanted him to run to the veil so I could feign protection and plunge myself into its depths, but Harry ran away from it toward Bellatrix. I stood there and watched them go; I watched my only chance of following my beloved run away for a revenge that I am not strong enough to seek.

I heard all those around me still fighting, still trying, and I wanted to scream at them for not being hollowed out by Sirius' death. All I could do was stand there and try to keep standing on my feet when they so wished to go out from underneath me. I cast my eyes to the floor below me and I truly wished it would crumble away; truly wished it would all just crumble away, but it didn't. I was still standing in the battle field, people still fought all around me, and I felt more alone then I ever did in the past. Blinking back my tears that were still welling up in my eyes I raised my head. There would be time for crying later since there was work to be done and I know I would never be able to face Sirius again if I just stood here and cried.

**- END –**

_**A/N: **_Not much to say about this one, it just popped in my head one day and I had to type it up. There is another part to it that is called, _**Oblivion**_, and I should be posting it when I post this one. They can be read separately but basically have the same layout and both are in Lupin's POV. Hope you guys liked this one; don't forget to review!


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